Like everybody, I started out as a seed. I quickly grew into a sprout, and then a lovely blossom. Of course, I don’t remember much of this—who does? My first memory is when I was still on the vine. It must have been September, and there was a raven walking through the patch. I was so afraid—I just knew I was lunch…but no…I was lucky that day, and I’ve been lucky ever since.

Our family was what I guess you would call well-heeled. I attended the best schools, had a happy childhood and grew into a large, round pumpkin. I traveled as a young pumpkin all throughout Europe, and then I married. His name was John, but everyone called him Jack…Jack O’ Lantern. We were blissfully happy. It was a wonderful marriage. We had two lovely children. I thought it would never end, but I was so terribly wrong.

The accident wasn’t anyone’s fault, I suppose. They were just being typical teenagers on Halloween…who can blame their high spirits? Jack’s remains were found by the side of the road. One thing I know—he didn’t suffer.

After the accident, I devoted my full attention to the children. They were growing like weeds. And then I met Ari…from Greece. There were some whispers that he was actually a butternut squash, but I paid them no mind. He was good and kind to me, and dang, was he ever rich!